I’ve been given the go ahead by my IPs(intended parents) to publish on my blog about my journey in surrogacy:) I just want to share updates with my friends and family this way instead of on Facebook for everyone I’ve known since summer camp. This is also a great way for me to share what it’s like so that people who may be interested in surrogacy can have a better understanding and hopefully be more convinced to do it.
During the process of picking a couple I gained a relationship with so many wonderful and deserving couples, it’s a shame I could only pick one. Every one of them would make a great parent and there’s really no way to choose other than who you agree on issues like selective reduction and such on, and who you get along with the best.
There were so many couples I agreed on everything with that it made it very difficult to choose. I had picked a couple that just made the most sense and had scheduled a Skype call to tell them, but the intended mother wasn’t home so I rescheduled for the next morning. Later that day I received an email from the IPs asking if we could FaceTime later. I had asked Sally at Surrogacy in Canada to contact and let them know I was interested but had given up on them contacting me. Our first call was amazing and it was just so easy to get along with them. By the end of the call it just felt right for both of us but I decided to spend the rest of the night praying to help me really feel that it was what Heavenly Father wanted as well.
When I got that confirmation I just couldn’t wait to tell them. The look on their faces when I told them that I had chose them was amazing. For the rest of the conversation, the reality kept slowly hitting the IM but I think it still didn’t really sink in for a while after. They sent me flowers the next day as well as chocolates to show their appreciation but I don’t think it had really sunk in for me yet either. We can’t really do much right away since it’s such a long process, so I still feel like myself and I I’m just very excited to get everything started.
Since the phone call where I told them that I would carry their child, we’ve kept in touch almost daily and I’ve spoken with their fertility doctor. He said that everything looks good so far and he seems to like me:) He said that I’ll be going for some blood tests, an ultrasound, psychological testing for my husband and I, and then I’ll be able to start the drugs for the transfer. He said that we should be able to get going by February or March but I’m not sure if he means that I’ll be starting hormones then or if the transfer will be then, so I’ll just have to wait and see.
From what I’ve been told, this is how it’ll go:
After I’ve had all my testing done and if everything’s looking good, the IPs will draft a contract and then my lawyer will look it over. In Canada, you cannot be paid to be a surrogate mother, but receivable expenses related to the pregnancy are reimbursed. So things like vitamins, travels to doctors appointments, extra food, fitness passes, medication, maternity clothing, etc are things that would be reimbursed. That makes the contract part a lot easier than places where commercial surrogacy is legal. The important things in the contract would be expenses limit per month, medical things like selective reduction and amniocentesis I’m sure, drafting papers for “adoption” since it gets sticky with hospitals and me technically being the birth mother, and some other stuff. Nothing crazy, no compensation for lost organs or anything. I’ve seen some weird things being asked for by commercial surrogates like thousands of extra dollars if it’s a c section or if they have any other type of surgery or lose a kidney. Every day I’m more and more thankful to be Canadian and for now especially for the surrogacy laws in Canada.
I’ll do 30 days of a mixture of patches, needles, and pills. Some people do a needle beside the belly button every day for 15 or 30 days before the transfer and then a needle in the behind for 15 or 30 days as well. It all depends on the Doctor so it may be different for me. The hormone drugs are to stop me from releasing my own egg, to help build up uterine lining, and to jumpstart the pregnancy.
Once I’ve been on the hormones for a certain amount of time, I’ll be flying to where the IPS live to do the transfer. They’ll have already harvested eggs and sperm and let them form embryos. Depending on the IPs decision, they could transfe 1-3 eggs. Depending on how the embryos are and how the hormones worked for me, I could become pregnant with 0-all 3 of them. After the transfer, I’ll stay there for a few days, after which they’ll do an ultrasound and see how I’m doing and how my lining looks and then I’ll head back home and wait to test:)
I could need several transfers, just depends on wether or not the embryo stick, though I’m hopeful:)
This is just what I’ve learned so far so everything could change, so we’ll just have to wait and see. I’ve just had so many questions asked that it’s easier to put it all out there. If anyone has any questions, let me know and I’ll be happy to answer them. Anyone that knows me, knows I’m not shy and that I have no problem sharing information like this, especially if it helps someone become a surrogate themselves. I am just not able to share any information about my IPs at this time so that they can have their privacy and be able to tell their friends and family any news before someone happens to read my blog.