I had been second guessing wether I was feeling kicks or not for the past few weeks. Turns out most of them were Braxton hicks, but I’d never felt them this early, usually around 20 weeks was normal for me. I know I have what they call an “irritable uterus”, but this time around is way more intense than previous times. Last night I felt little kicks for the first time and it just didn’t stop for the longest time. I texted baby’s parents right away even though it was super late for them, and they were just ecstatic☺️
I wake up every day feeling bigger and bigger. I’m sure I’m not, but my husband has confirmed that I’m obviously bigger than I was almost 2 weeks ago. Haha. I’m excited to get bigger, but at the same time I’m terrified of the painful stretch marks:/
I’m so happy to have the opportunity to do this for this couple and they want me to share everything:pregnancy symptoms, how my day is, how I’m feeling, everything. I love the constant communication and that they’re so involved, but I’m finding that as the pregnancy progresses, I’m feeling sad about the fact that they don’t get to feel all the kicks and that IM’s belly isn’t growing every day. I know they’d do anything to experience this pregnancy first hand, but I also know that they’re probably just super greatful to be having a baby at all. I just still feel bad though about sharing everything because I wonder how they’re really feeling under all the excitement😔
I’ll be having my halfway ultrasound mid next month, then another one about a week later when they come to visit:) Hopefully baby’s kicking hard enough by then that they can feel it. It’ll be really nice to have them there for an ultrasound😊 I know they’ll be really excited. When I was pregnant with my own, the ultrasounds were just cool and an exciting opportunity to see my baby. For them, every ultrasound is nerve wrecking because they’re worried about the baby and they’re just hoping for good news during the ultrasound.
I always tried not to worry during my pregnancies, but I also didn’t have a ton of reasons to really worry. I still wonder often what it’s like for them to worry so much and also have no control over the pregnancy and the baby. Though I have little control even, at least the baby’s physically with me, whereas the baby is not as close to them. I really wish I lived closer to them or that they lived closer to me. It would be so nice to meet up often and talk face to face about the pregnancy. If they wanted me to carry a second child for them, I’d love to. But if I do this again for another couple, I’d much rather someone who was closer and that could feel much more involved in the pregnancy. I know it would help not only them, but also me and how I feel so sad about them worrying so much.
If I mention this to people they think I’m crazy because I’m “already giving them a baby, what more could they want?”. But this whole thing is not about me. This is THEIR pregnancy and THEIR child. I want them to have the best experience possible and I’ve just gotten lucky with having the best IPs ever who have made this such a wonderful experience for me. I’m just very lucky and fortunate to have gotten such a great couple to pair with.
It’s really exciting that the IPs don’t want to find out the gender. I often think about what the birth will be like. Having them there all dressed up in scrubs, waiting to see their baby, hear their baby’s first cry. And with the option they’ve chosen, the announcement of the gender will be just so exciting. I can’t wait😍 I know it’s about 21-22 weeks away, but I think about this almost daily.
I feel so blessed to be able to give this couple their baby and wish I could do this for every couple experimenting infertility. This has been so amazing so far and I can’t wait for the end result💗💙💗💙